Finding your people is serious business. Sometime our people find us. Sometime we have to say goodbye to a season and the people that we have loved. Sometimes we have to find new people. Sometime we don’t know what we are looking for in friendships. Sometime we know that we need people to complete something that is deeply human in ourselves.

Of course, the number of people that cross our paths vary. Being friendly and cordial is important in communicating value and worth to those we pass daily. In a very meaningful way, we should not be careless in who we spending time with regularly. Finding our people implies that we are looking and selecting intentionally. The above picture shows some of our favorite people in our immediate and extended family. Sometimes the relationships that have been with us forever can grow and deepen if we invest time and energy. Certainly, some of the sweetest friendships are those with our parents, siblings, children and their chosen spouses and eventually our grandchildren. When possible, investing in relationships with extended family is also vital to our personal growth. The joy of longtime friendships with those who know us and share history bring a depth of satisfaction. New friends offer potential and the promise of great times ahead. To pursue our people is an intentional activity that cannot be neglected if we are to the embrace our best every days.

As we journey through our lives, our relationships change. Some come. Some go. Some evolve.

One thing is sure, finding the right people is so worth all the work, the investment and the risk. Knowing who will be one of our closest friends takes consideration and exploration. Spending time listening and developing conversation allows us to explore potential relationships. Friendship takes time and exposes us to potential hurt and disappointment. Finding our people requires risk and vulnerability, but it is vital to the unmeasurable benefit of finding the right people.

To explore this search, the clarifying categories of who, what, when, where, why and how identify steps in this hunt.

Who am I looking for? Who are my people? Often, the people who are the best fit for our close community are those with shared values, seasons, goals, hobbies and needs. Our gains and our loses lead to gravitating relationships. Our location frequently creates new friendships. Look first at the relationships in your immediate family and your extended family. These people will often be with you for your lifetime. Invest in these friendships.
What do I need in my people? What do my people need me to bring? Knowing and honoring my values is a vital step in achieving my goals, envisioning my future and living life to its fullest. Evaluate what matters. Access your direction. Determine your yeses and nos.
When can I find my people? Life is full of inbetweens. The beginnings and endings often happen as we travel. Drifting friendships may mean that our location and schedule has changed. When we step into a new place or a new season such as a new job, a new neighborhood or a new neighborhood, we look around for new people to be our people. It is hard. Less time with friends who we used to see frequently is hard. Knowing that we are the new people needing people is hard. Determining who might be our new people is hard. It is all hard, but with the potential of being wonderful!
Where are my people? Usually, my people are right beside me. They are in my family, my near neighbors, my spiritual community, my regular activities and my daily rhythms. Sometimes I have to look for them. What am I looking for? I am looking for walk-beside-people. I am looking for people with a similar passion and vision. I am looking for who I want to be more like.
Why do I need people? It’s only human. God made us to thrive in relationship. Being transparent and teachable creates space for growth and maturity. Working on listening and conversation skills. While I may have much to contribute in a friendship, I am always studying my social interactions to discover whether I can adjust or improve my habits, my responses and my social skills.
How should I build my community of people? The answer to this is to build it with intentionality. Remember you and I are most like the five people with whom we spend the most time. Choose carefully. Spend time in conversation and in hospitality. How do you know if you have found your people? You feel calm with them. You feel uninhibited. You feel hopeful.

In this venture consider:

How To Make Friends and Keep Them

What NOT To Do When Making New Friends

The Friendship Recession

Friendship in 7 Easy Steps

Thoughtful Steps to Being a Healthy You – A Whole Person

Affirming Grows Gratitude

Listening

Conversation

20 Social Skills to Improve My Sociability

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